Post by The Dark Hunter on Apr 7, 2010 18:06:24 GMT -5
I once had a dream, but, I don't know what to do anymore.
11 years ago, my dream started as an art project during church. They were the first character designs for Days of Death, and have remained much the same over these long years. Dirk, Ralph, Rick, Dave, and Dan were my first characters. As I rode my bus to and from school, I came up with new game and character ideas. I once had over 70 characters on the same piece of paper, but, that eventually disintegrated from overuse.
In middle school, one of my friends introduced me to what has now been my downfall/redemption(I'm still not sure which). It was Manga. Full Metal Alchemist volumes 2 and 3, to be exact. I now have quite a collection, 1-8, and 10, I believe. Reading these stories, combined with syndicated newspaper comics. I realized the second point of a video game, but more on that later.
In my current High school, I took some programming classes. Not much of a story there.
By these three points in my life, I thought I could make a great video game: Characters, Plot, and Programming. That's all a game is, without art and music.
This is where I started to write out Cursed War, in hopes that my story would become a great video game. I planned everything out in length, 4 parts to the game, over 100 characters, fighting/rpg/strategy. If the game could be made, I would.
Then, my downfall/redemption started last week, while browsing through TVtropes. I came upon an interesting anime, called Lucky Star. A show much like Cromartie High School, but the exact opposite.
If Cromartie was the serious, yet funnier brother of Bobobo, Lucky Star was kind of like Cromartie's step sister.(Research Cromartie High School and Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo on your own time).
Lucky Star is a nice Manga-Anime about High school girls that talk about random conversations much akin to Seinfeld. The main character of Lucky Star is a girl named Konata, an Otaku(Video Game/Mang/Anime freak) like me. I quickly noticed that I and the main character had very few differences, probably the biggest one being the fact that she's a girl. The anime was short, I finished watching it in two days, but I wasn't satisfied. Then, I did the unacceptable. I browsed through TVTropes recommended fanfics for Lucky Star. Sparing the yuri(shudder) details, they all explained what happened to Konata after high school. Which made me think, "What about me? I'm just like Konata, but, I had plans after school, that video game..." The fanfics depicted a large range of what she could do, from dropping into depression to millionaire by resale.
Why all this text? Why does it matter?
Seeing an otaku like me first hand, I realized how pitiful I was. Playing games just for the sake of playing them. That's what video games are for, right? But, Otaku is made of three big points, Video Games, Manga, and Anime. Other than the fact that they're all japanese, there is but one connection between them. My second point, the plot line. But, I thought that was one of the ideas behind games at first, now I'm not so sure.
I played Super Punch-out recently (I mean like, five minutes since writing this) but, there was no challenge. I knew how to beat everyone easily, (Piston Hurricane in 17 seconds) but, I turned it off almost immediately. "I'm not a boxer," I thought, "This game doesn't connect to me like the childish Edward Elric of my past or the otaku Konata of my present. I don't care about Little Mac's championship."
Just now, while writing this, I realized the games that I do have an affinity for. Games that change based on the decisions that I make. But, there aren't many of those. Four days ago on my birthday, my brother got me Legend of Zelda and the Spirit tracks. I had fun at first, but not long after that is when I started to read those fanfics. I lost interest in the game, I tried to play it, but the shackles were to binding. It felt like a chore to play the game.
I no longer have any desire to make a game of my own. No matter what I do, I'll never be satisfied with it. The rapid thoughts of Cursed War that once coursed through my mind have all but disappeared. I can't recall 2/3's of the characters when I was once able to recite all of them by heart.
Well, that's it. I don't know what to do anymore. My dreams have been crushed by a combination of manga and the ever ominous years of college looming ahead. Now I'm just spending my days in my bedroom, trying to collect enough money to buy manga. Across the room from me is my set of 6 consoles, and over 100 games, but I don't have any urge to play any of them.
11 years ago, my dream started as an art project during church. They were the first character designs for Days of Death, and have remained much the same over these long years. Dirk, Ralph, Rick, Dave, and Dan were my first characters. As I rode my bus to and from school, I came up with new game and character ideas. I once had over 70 characters on the same piece of paper, but, that eventually disintegrated from overuse.
In middle school, one of my friends introduced me to what has now been my downfall/redemption(I'm still not sure which). It was Manga. Full Metal Alchemist volumes 2 and 3, to be exact. I now have quite a collection, 1-8, and 10, I believe. Reading these stories, combined with syndicated newspaper comics. I realized the second point of a video game, but more on that later.
In my current High school, I took some programming classes. Not much of a story there.
By these three points in my life, I thought I could make a great video game: Characters, Plot, and Programming. That's all a game is, without art and music.
This is where I started to write out Cursed War, in hopes that my story would become a great video game. I planned everything out in length, 4 parts to the game, over 100 characters, fighting/rpg/strategy. If the game could be made, I would.
Then, my downfall/redemption started last week, while browsing through TVtropes. I came upon an interesting anime, called Lucky Star. A show much like Cromartie High School, but the exact opposite.
If Cromartie was the serious, yet funnier brother of Bobobo, Lucky Star was kind of like Cromartie's step sister.(Research Cromartie High School and Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo on your own time).
Lucky Star is a nice Manga-Anime about High school girls that talk about random conversations much akin to Seinfeld. The main character of Lucky Star is a girl named Konata, an Otaku(Video Game/Mang/Anime freak) like me. I quickly noticed that I and the main character had very few differences, probably the biggest one being the fact that she's a girl. The anime was short, I finished watching it in two days, but I wasn't satisfied. Then, I did the unacceptable. I browsed through TVTropes recommended fanfics for Lucky Star. Sparing the yuri(shudder) details, they all explained what happened to Konata after high school. Which made me think, "What about me? I'm just like Konata, but, I had plans after school, that video game..." The fanfics depicted a large range of what she could do, from dropping into depression to millionaire by resale.
Why all this text? Why does it matter?
Seeing an otaku like me first hand, I realized how pitiful I was. Playing games just for the sake of playing them. That's what video games are for, right? But, Otaku is made of three big points, Video Games, Manga, and Anime. Other than the fact that they're all japanese, there is but one connection between them. My second point, the plot line. But, I thought that was one of the ideas behind games at first, now I'm not so sure.
I played Super Punch-out recently (I mean like, five minutes since writing this) but, there was no challenge. I knew how to beat everyone easily, (Piston Hurricane in 17 seconds) but, I turned it off almost immediately. "I'm not a boxer," I thought, "This game doesn't connect to me like the childish Edward Elric of my past or the otaku Konata of my present. I don't care about Little Mac's championship."
Just now, while writing this, I realized the games that I do have an affinity for. Games that change based on the decisions that I make. But, there aren't many of those. Four days ago on my birthday, my brother got me Legend of Zelda and the Spirit tracks. I had fun at first, but not long after that is when I started to read those fanfics. I lost interest in the game, I tried to play it, but the shackles were to binding. It felt like a chore to play the game.
I no longer have any desire to make a game of my own. No matter what I do, I'll never be satisfied with it. The rapid thoughts of Cursed War that once coursed through my mind have all but disappeared. I can't recall 2/3's of the characters when I was once able to recite all of them by heart.
Well, that's it. I don't know what to do anymore. My dreams have been crushed by a combination of manga and the ever ominous years of college looming ahead. Now I'm just spending my days in my bedroom, trying to collect enough money to buy manga. Across the room from me is my set of 6 consoles, and over 100 games, but I don't have any urge to play any of them.